| obsessions 12/22/2008 |
[Dec. 23rd, 2008|06:13 pm] |
Things I'm obsessed with for the week of 12/22/2008
1. How annoying Christmas letters are. Cards are nice, photos can be cute (and amusing), letters are misleading and often obnoxious. And my Mom likes to write them. She was like "what if I just write one sentence about you." And I'm like - Mom, my year categorically sucked. Would she write: "Andrew selected a dissertation topic he doesn't like, moved in with an oxycontin addict, had a breakdown, had to move to Massachusetts for 4 months, and at least cut down on his alcohol intake and switched medications, but still wretches at the thought of his advisor." No, she wouldn't write that. And so, the idea of the Whittemore Christmas letter was defeated, and this year, there will be a Whittemore Christmas card with photo. Holiday card. Whatever.
2. SELF-SURGERIES
http://listverse.com/health/top-10-incredible-self-surgeries/
3. Fluffy in the Snow!
Fluffy, in the snow, getting cozy with a neighbor
Fluffy loves to dig his face in the snow and eat it
Fluffy likes to sit in the snow and not move while everyond else gets cold
Come on Fluffy!
"Lick it" says fluffy
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| obsessions 12/15/2008 |
[Dec. 14th, 2008|07:35 pm] |
Things I'm obsessed with for better or worse, for the week of 12/15/2008
1) Living the life of a goth tween. I live with my parents and wear black hoodies every day, so that covers half of it. Fresh on the heels of my (ongoing) obsession with Twilight, I finally got around to reading crap-lit prodigy VC Andrews' "Flowers in the Attic" about 15 years late. It's a cautionary tale for abusive parents everywhere (for those who haven't read the book, if you lock your teenage kids in the attic for 2 years they'll sleep with eachother, but you will get to keep your inheritance).
Highly recommended (don't watch the movie though, it blows, or rather, there's no nasty incestuous sex in it). I had to go on wikipedia and read the plot summaries of the other books in the series to quell my desire to read anymore VC Andrews.
Perhaps 'Charlotte Sometimes' is next? There is a Cure song named after it.
2) And also, in my life as a goth tween, I am obsessed with the graveyard the town of Belmont randomly placed next to my parents' house in the abutting conservation land.
I know it's tree plantings. But ... I sorta wanna go put on a black trench coat and pose in it while someone takes B&W photos.
3) Other tweens, namely these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vxzIamlzoA
which brings back to mind an idol oldie but goodie, Mary Roach:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pWMyfWLIes
4) Perhaps it's not me, but the entire state of MA that thinks it's 1991 again - when was the last time kiss108 played Shanice on a saturday night?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSW6ZfeliJk
SIKE!! kiss108 plays Shanice every Saturday night. |
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| obsessions 12/8/08 |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|06:35 pm] |
I haven't posted in forever. And I don't know why, cuz it's not like I do anything that isn't utterly boring.
So, things I'm basically obsessed with for better or for worse, for the week of December 8, 2008.
1) "Twilight" - I saw the movie twice, read the book in like, half an hour, asked for the entire series from my aunt for Christmas, and am going to go see it for a third time tomorrow. Who knew Mormon abstinence propaganda veiled as teen goth romance could be so seductive? It shouldnt be, but I live in Belmont, with my Mom, Dad, and Fluffy the dog. Actually, seeing as I'm basically a 14 yo goth chick, I suppose I'd be obsessed under any circumstance.
2) However due to my anxiety over the above obsession I'm obsessed with going back to LA in less than 3 weeks for a period of 4-6 months. Let's hope the new meds keep working and there's not another breakdown that causes me to flee in the dark of the night. I'm also drinking a lot less and smoking a lot more, and wont be living with a painkiller addict, so that should help.
3) I am not looking foward to being within 2500 miles of my advisor, who when asked how I should quantify the results to a survey question yesterday, said "remember to write thank you notes to survey participants." DONT AVOID THE QUESTION AND NO I'M NOT DOING THAT FOR PEOPLE WHO CLICK A FEW RADIO BUTTONS. This begs the further question, does she know how to respond to my question? I think not. I am obsessed with the extent of my advisor's uselessness.
4) Trina's remix of TI's 'Whatever I like' thanks to some trashy dj in new york. "Tell me can you spoil me with a penis with a good view." I hear ya gurl. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KMPENTE8wQ
5) And, for the 10th week in a row, ever since it popped up under "videos you may like" on my Youtube account, Tamechi's "Poak Chops" (has anyone seen this tranny in porn? she may come from north carolina, but with the 818 number, I'm not so sure she's there anymore)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KadvVzQIRu0 |
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| ENTREATIES FOR RELIEF FROM SELF |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|02:11 pm] |
aka I hooked up with the feature of a D-List smut, ahem art mag, for fags.
For my 28th birthday, per my request, bestsociety bought me the 'Butt Book,' a compilation of all the earlier issues of Butt magazine, “a fagazine for fantastic homosexual men," with a forward childishly punishing one reader for daring to call it pretentious, which it certainly is. But few know the full extent of this "fagazine's" terror and of my pitiless desire for its charms!
It is titillating and it is unabashedly confident. Being surrounded by fellows of a similar description most of my day (perhaps not quite as titillating), and likely for the rest of my life, the Butt Book, full of so many more people feigning greatness, and daring to tease with carnality as well, provides little relief. After an initial twenty minutes of determination in exploring its pages, I inevitably feel challenged by so much brazen behavior, close it, and turn elsewhere to momentarily escape the trials of the day. Indeed Butt Book has become just another one of these trials, but obsessed with self-defeat as I am, I will pick it up again and again.
I hope I am unique in my experience of Butt, its so many gay-targeted counterparts, and more high budget petit bourgeois smut in general (Playboy, Vanity Fair, Details, etc. etc.). Millions must not share my experience. Sadly, I doubt Butt feels sympathy for having failed the overly-neurotic, self-pitying buyer such as myself. Likely we only share mutual disgust, and I must in addition bear the pain of unreciprocated infatuation in this relationship.
What will be my revenge?
I have none; Butt and its furious company (namely Pinup) will have their way with me. For only a few days ago one of those lurid photographs leapt off the page, fiendish coquette, into my barely more multi-dimensional reality. One of those terrifying subjects became real to all my senses for an evening, only to prove insincere in its affections and turn away as unexpectedly as it had approached!
Butt & Co. I cannot call you wicked, because you have only done to me what I do to you all the time, picking you up to put you down so to speak, but you must realize that these actions of mine are exercises in self-deprecation, and I beg that you never rub it in again! |
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| my bus stop |
[Aug. 3rd, 2008|05:41 pm] |
man ... my bus stop at wilshire and western was the place to be in 1992!
"are you embarassed?"
"NAW!"
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| christ on his throne |
[May. 19th, 2008|12:20 am] |
the time has come for me to find an apt on craiglist. look i can share a 2 bedroom with this gay guy. do you think he had to mention that he was gay?
and i understand that the second two photos are of the same room from different angles. but the first pic makes no sense, unless he has two of those coffee tables with the magazines, two of those mirrors, and two of those vases, in different living rooms. why did he partition off his kitchen with some piece of nylon? wind, stove, fire hazard, fag on fire, dumbass.
anyway, i look at all of these blunt large 'coversation pieces' and lamp-things or whatever and all i can think about is domestic violence. no thanks.
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| with all the olds where i belong |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|10:47 pm] |
As a student, I have the luxury of checking out for a while when I feel like it, which of course has costs, but whatever.
So last week I drove up the coast to SF, saw SF friends as well as Josh who was in from NY, just got back today. On the way I went on a tour of Hearst Castle. I was the only one under 70 on the tour (not in spirit of course). wah wah.
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| um |
[Feb. 13th, 2008|10:16 am] |
so going out in the valley sometimes leads you to hang out with S&M porn stars. like this one, who told me he could take 12 inches and asked for my phone number:
I won't be answering anything from the 818 anytime soon. or course you can see more of him, and his friend marli jane, at
www.myspace.com/xxxcocksuckerxxx
2.30 PST update: he actually called and left a message. not worth the update i guess. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2008|05:35 pm] |
Did I mention how excited I am about spending two weeks in Tokyo? I'm gonna be HUGE in Japan. I already have backup dancers:
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| DEAD CELEBRITY SIGHTING |
[Jan. 1st, 2008|01:25 pm] |
Time: December 28, 2007, 1PM
Place: American Museum of Natural History, New York City USA
Dead Celeb: GEORGE WASHINGTON
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| My life on the D-list (Z-list, whateva) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|12:45 pm] |
Maybe 2 weekends ago I hung out with my friend's boyfriend's friend from Paris who is here in LA studying film and was desperate to get out of her au pair routine. So, turns out I'm the only person she knows in LA now so she invited me to go with her to the opening award show of this film festival, the "Jules Verne Adventure Film Festival" I kid you not, at Shrine Auditorium. I guess it's some French thing, like it's been going on for 10 years in Paris and so she had VIP tickets somehow and we got to sit in the front because there were like, 5 people there.
It was hosted by Malcolm McDowell, who I can't help picturing in a toga screwing helen mirren from the back and calling her his sacrificial lamb, thanks to his role in 'caligula'. Here he is giving a lifetime achievement award to Ray Bradbury, who was wheeled out on stage and everyone was like "isn't he dead?" and yes, i think he was in fact dead, or he would have been if they didn't get him back offstage fast enough to plug him into the wall.
Um, it was co-hosted by this HOT french dude who could NOT speak english. they brought out a cheetah (best part) and he was like "I hear zat ze cheetah is ze only of ze big cats zat plays wiz'iz tail ... if I had a tail i would-a-play wiz'it too." um ya. play with my tail bitch.
You know who can't play with my tail? Tony Curtis... bitch got OLD, which i guess makes sense since he was famous in like, the 60s, the EIGHTEEN-60s. I mean really this was the geriatrics adventure film festival or something. Everyone they brought out it was like "look who you thought was dead! We took his IV out and wheeled him here just for you!" an adventure for them indeed ...
Then Tippi Hedren shows up in her best cocktail dress, just after she knocked back a few shots of gin and some valium, to deliver a little whimper and a not-so-touching speech about why people should not have exotic animals as household pets:
And amidst all the self-contratulatory we-wish-we-were-still-hollywood re-re-ness, patrick stewart showed up, not sure why:
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| Friday Night on Sunset Blvd |
[Nov. 8th, 2007|01:34 am] |
Um, some dude in the back of an old caddy called me an "ego faggot" repeatedly. Like, on the corner of sunset and santa monica "FUCKING EMO FAGGOTS! EMO FAGGOTS!" to me and two friends. so at first i wondered, jeeze, he must just drive up and down sunset all night cuz there sure are a lot of faggots around here. and then i was like "wait, i'm EMO!?!?!?!" i mean, I'm almost 30. i'm supposed to be washed up.
anyway, i found this amazing bar called barcitos or something, we were the only people who didnt get padded down cuz we were white probably. the bar is all latino dudes scoping out these AMAZING trannies who lipsynch to like, selena and mariachi. sorry that's my understanding of mexican musak. and i liked how it was a good place for family outtings. only in LA. and like, the rest of central america. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2007|01:33 am] |
Um, so the 1985 version was ok, but the 2007 version really got the message across:
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| BEST CELEBRITY SIGHTING EVER |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|04:10 pm] |
CLICK ON IMAGES TO ENLARGE!!! LIVEJOURNAL IS BUSTED!!!
JUST CALL ME THE NEW PEREZ!!! OMG!!!
LOS ANGELES, VARIOUS LOCATIONS, SATUDAY INTO SUNDAY OCTOBER 28!!!
GWEN STEFANI AND HER HARAJUKU GIRLS!!!
AND THERE THEY ARE AGAIN!!!
AND AGAIN!!! WILD NIGHT OUT IN HOLLYWOOD!!! OUT OF CONTROL!!!
HOLY SHIT HARAJUKU CELEB ASAHI IS WORKING IT!!! SEX!!! STYLE!!!
HARAJUKU CELEB BEA IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF SEXY!!! FLASH!!! LIGHTS!!!
AND THEN THEY GIVE ME A LIFT!!! HARAJUKU CELEB ALI COULDN'T BE CUTER!!! OMG!!!
GWEN LAYS INTO THE BOOZE AND THEN LAYS INTO BEA!!! OUT OF CONTROL!!!
GWEN BINGES ON BURGER KING (YUCK!) AND PASSES OUT ON THE FLOOR!!! AND WAIT - GWEN IS A DUDE!!! YIKES!!!
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| CONFIRMED: ANDY DICK IS A DRUNK COKEHEAD MESS |
[Oct. 4th, 2007|11:32 pm] |
Andy Dick sort of looked like this tonight, except it was dark, and gurl got FAT AND OLD (for Hollywood) and he wasn't this perky. But he was pissed about something, and coked up, and drunk, and at the table next to me at the Formosa Cafe on Sta Monica in West Hollywood. Over the course of the 20 minutes that our visits to this somewhat-fun haunt overlapped he managed:
a) to perplex me with his posse of overgroomed 20something armenian playboy types, straight outta glendale via USC rush, plus one woman who looked like darryl hannah straight outta the tree at the south central farm circa 2006
b) repeatedly shove his tongue out of the side of his mouth into the face of some anorexic, frequent bathroom-break taking, 20 year old dope-fiend female companion in that way that only happens in frat party scenes in teen comedies
c) display typical symptoms of tourette's syndrome (yelling, twitching) with such regularity as to present a convincing case of the disease
d) cause the waitress to come over to our table and say "trust me, you don't want their attention, anyway, I'm leaving for the night, here's your check." |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2007|08:33 pm] |
Today I went to Caribbean carnival in Boston, which is the largest such carnival outside of the Caribbean, and New York, and Miami. So it's not huge. But it's huge for Boston. And it's fun.
Friend Solie stylin her Grenadian-themed umbrella and Black History Month mug on the way down to Blue Hill Ave:
Look out death! You're about to get hit by the great big Trini boom boom truck! Every island has its own flatbed truck stacked with speakers. The island of my heritage (Great Britain) was not represented. Bigotry.
Me under Solie's umbrella-ella-ella
Solie's sister under her umbrella-ella-ella
Flag man selling flags of all the islands (not that of Britain, bigot):
CARNIVAL!!
Little children dressed as candy ... dirty.
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| appalachian holiday, woowie! |
[Aug. 19th, 2007|05:13 pm] |
last week, or maybe 2 weeks ago, i went to blacksburg va, in southwestern virginia. it's where VT is, my friend mike is an engineering student there.
proposed VT gang signs:
At the range, we made targets, l'hippo, rap cat, and sad tomato. And Los Angeles, but that one is not pictured here because the range went "hot" (aka everyone started shooting) before we could tack it to a box.
I bought a VT hat to be down with the locals as I was practicing my aim with the 22.
And a 9mm (doesn't look like i'm aiming so well, oops!)
The aftermath:
And down at the river in neighboring Giles county with mike and tish, smoking (it's not bad for you when it's 3 bucks a pack!) and drinking beer.
mike and i jumped off a rock
we ripped off the cover of that slint album from 1996
And I had a wee (every 10 minutes)
And we fucked with some crawfish
Clearly my favorite part of the trip
Awesome. I wanna go back sometime soon! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2007|03:20 pm] |
Fun at Denise's office with the scanner while the boss is out! weee!
Denise looks like a doll:
Our brooding pose
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| The Adventures of Fluffy (the Dog)! |
[Jul. 12th, 2007|11:05 am] |
Fluffy (Mom's dog) has become very resistant to the groomer in his middle age. Well, it wasn't his fault arguably. It all started when the lady at the Pampered Pooch gave him a buzz cut two years ago, which my Mom was convinced left him feeling emasculated. So she started taking him to the Laundromut, where you wash your dog yourself, but he would often fall off the metal plank that the dogs had to walk up to get in the tub. So now, we have Zoomin Groomin, a big van that comes to your house, with a townie lesbian dog groomer, and everything you need to clean a dog, inside.
Fluffy with said groomer:
She was like "I give all my animals buzz cuts in the summa" - my mom was like "please don't do that, he likes being fluffy."
Up into the van fluffy!
Ah, l'excess de mon east-coast vie. |
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